Hey All –
So here I am, staring the ripe old age of forty in the eye, and wondering if I’ve learned anything in this lifetime. There are so many arbitrary goals I’ve set for myself that I won’t achieve, but instead of beating myself up, I’ve decided to let them go.
In letting go, I’ve realized it is actually possible to do life wrong. I’m not talking about how to measure success, because each of us defines that word differently. I’m talking about general truths – things I’ve especially learned over the past four years. These “truths” have nothing to do with how much money I have or don’t have; they aren’t about the car I drive or the hotness of my spouse; they aren’t about material things.
They’re about what I am at my core.
So here’s my list of things I’ve learned:
- If you can’t see the both sides and the middle – you’re doing it wrong
- If you can’t laugh at yourself – you’re doing it wrong
- If you can’t love with all your heart – you’re doing it wrong
- If you need affirmation through “like” and “shares” – you’re doing it wrong
- If you can’t see that good can come from bad – you’re doing it wrong
- If you don’t smile or laugh once a day – you’re doing it wrong
- If you can’t accept that you can’t control another person’s behavior – you’re doing it wrong
- If you accept another person’s narrative of your life – you’re doing it wrong
- If you can’t love yourself, flaws and all – you’re doing it wrong
I’m sure you could add or subtract from this list, but this is where I am in my life. I’ve spent nearly four years doing it “wrong,” being stuck in old patterns and hurting myself because of what I thought I should be doing. I forgot how to laugh, how to embrace life, and how to just be.
For me, my greatest challenge has been to not accept another person’s narrative of my life. I went from being a strong, speak-my-mind woman to someone meek and timid that I didn’t recognize. But no more. I’m going to let the bravery I show on the page carry over to my real life. No more hiding. No more nerves. No more being scared.
I don’t want to be turning eighty and have to write another post about doing it wrong.